“Friend my life is a mess”
I say this to my best friend over a phone conversation.
“Why what’s up?”
I go on and narrate a current situation and a fall out I’d had with someone that I really could have handled in a much better way, I tell her how growth feels like 2 steps forward and a sprint 100 steps back.
So after listening to this conversation she responds by saying:
“Friend I feel like you’re too hard on yourself, instead of saying that your life is a mess how about you accept that you have made decisions that were not ideal and that it doesn’t mean your life is in shambles but that you still have certain arrears that you can still work on”
And man this one phrase put a lot of things into perspective.
How do you speak to yourself? You know that voice you’re using to read this, what does it say to you constantly?
Are you constantly saying things like: “Man my life is a mess” or are you saying “Okay this did not go great but how can I learn from this?” “how can I choose better next time?”
It’s funny how life comes with no rules but we constantly think we’re failing at it, we have set up all these mental timelines of where we think we should be, timelines we’ve compiled using other people’s lives, who are in situations that are nothing like our own. Yet we’re always ready to hand ourselves the harshest verdict. I wonder if we would speak to others the way we speak to ourselves, and if you do that’s a blog post for another day.
This blog post is more of a challenge, for us to do the following in 2021:
1.Listen carefully to the internal conversations that you have with yourself.
2. Having done that, ask yourself whether you are your biggest cheerleader or your biggest bully.
3. Ask yourself how you can change the negative statements into positive ones.
4. Wake up everyday an decide to try again no matter how long it takes.
Imagine if you were to spend the next few months being kinder to yourself. Imagine if you were intentional about this particular area of your life.
I am reminded of this story in the Bible:
A Woman Caught in Adultery
Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
This interaction is so interesting to me, this woman was caught red handed, it wasn’t a matter of he said she said, sis was caught in the act. Now the people were hoping Jesus would condemn her in the worst of ways but what does he say? He says: Neither do I condemn you, condemnation is not ever your portion.
Whatever words of condemnation you speak to yourself were never meant to be encouraged. STOP, yes that’s what I said stop right this minute.
And if you’re not sure where to start in positive self talk I would suggest the book of Ephesians. Ephesians is filled with positive, truth- filled, biblical words that you can use for affirmation.
I hope you make your way there and that you’ll receive the truth that says you’re fully accepted, fully loved, fully forgiven and that you’ve been given spiritual gifts.
Here’s to positive self talk and intentionality in studying scripture.
And as always remember
Life Is Art